The Revelation of Restraint

Rich rising. This one came long overdue

It’s been about a year and a half since I read Digital Minimalism. That book didn’t teach me how to “use less apps.” It taught me why I was using them in the first place and how much time I was bleeding without noticing.

But the real test didn’t hit until I applied that same discipline to myself.

Once I started stripping away the noise. Deleting apps, limiting notifications, using YouTube and TikTok as search tools. This is when the truth slapped me in the face:

I had more time than I realized. I was wasting more time than I admitted.

And the worst part? I wasn’t the only one drowning in distractions.

My kids were too.

Where It Hit Me: Watching My Kids Think Less

Take my daughter for example. She showed me something early in parenthood.

Girls aren’t “smarter,” they’re just emotionally intact in ways boys aren’t allowed to be. My daughter has never been shunned for being emotional. If she gets hurt or scared, she isn’t told stop crying, “Be a man!” She’s not expected to turn off her emotions because of her gender.

Now my sons? I taught them the way most men have been taught for generations.

Focus. Logic. Do what you’re told. Get it done.

But that conditioning comes with a price: You stop thinking for yourself. You follow instructions. You forget instinct. Instincts are your emotions.

Let me give you examples, because this is where clarity punched through:

1: The Trash

If I tell my son, “Take out the trash,” he’ll hit the kitchen can and stop.

The bathrooms? The small cans around the house?

Untouched.

Why? Because he completed the instruction, but he didn’t think past it.

2: The School Office

I told him, “Go talk to the school about your work permit. Ask about clubs.”

He comes home and says, “Oh, I googled it since no one was at the desk. Resourcefull right? “They weren’t there.”

“The security guard was the only one around.”

Me:

…So why didn’t you ask around? Why didn’t you walk down the hall? Why didn’t you check back in 5 minutes?

Simple: The instinct to investigate was replaced by the instinct to grab a device.

We are raising kids and adults who outsource common sense to screens.

And that’s when I saw the connection…

Technology Isn’t the Problem , Undisciplined Use Is

GPS is another one

How many places do you navigate to every week, but still plug into the GPS?

Not because you don’t know the route, but because thinking became optional.

That’s the danger.

Tech stopped being a tool. It became a crutch.

When you take away distractions, you don’t get boredom — you get instinct back. You get awareness back. You get the mental reps you’ve been skipping.

And that led me to the real realization:

Some Thoughts Don’t Need a Mic, They Need a Moment

I used to push every idea into a voice memo or into ChatGPT the moment it hit me.

Now I’m seeing the opposite:

Some thoughts shouldn’t be spoken yet. Some thoughts shouldn’t be optimized. Some thoughts need to be wrestled with privately on paper before you make them public.

Writing is the filter.

Writing is what forces precision.

Writing is what slows down a racing mind.

Not everything needs speed..

Not everything needs a screen.

Not everything needs an audience.

Technology Is Not Here To Think For You, It’s Here To Make You Think Better

The fear people had about digital cameras is the same fear people have about AI:

“It’s going to ruin everything.”

It didn’t.

It evolved everything. The art stayed. The discipline stayed.

Same with AI. Same with minimalism. Same with tech in general.

The problem isn’t technology.

The problem is people using technology without discipline.

No boundaries. No intent. No self-control.

Your power never comes from the tool. It comes from the way you use it.

And that’s the revelation.

Cutting the noise didn’t limit me; It restored me.

Attack the day, —Drew